Sad tuna salad sandwich

Few quick meals can compare to a can of tuna and mayo. With the simple twist of the wrist, a can is open another twist of a fork in a bottle of mayo and a few turns of that fork around the bowl and presto, you have your filling to hold those pieces of bread together. A dash of salt and a liberal amount of pepper, again a simple twist of the wrist on a pepper grinder and you have a masterpiece.

Enough tuna salad to make three sandwiches, a veritable tuna and bread cake to munch on while watching TV or reading a book or simply eating alone at your sad little table with three empty chairs taunting your solitary existence.

But you have your tuna salad sandwiches and that makes the pathetic loneliness of your life more palatable. For a while you can enjoy the feast of plenty and indulge yourself in a reasonably healthy pursuit. Consuming your delectable sandwiches while fending off the cat that shares your lonely existence. The cat you generously fed the juices from the can who now claws at your leg and purrs like a satisfied lover in your ear. Even though you know it’s only the tuna she wants, you can imagine that at least this normally feral creature who tolerates your presence actually loves you. At least as long as the tuna holds out. Then they will return to that sometimes demanding sometimes aloof creature you accepted into your life in desperation for companionship.

Ah tuna, the brain food for your tortured soul.


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