What mystery is this?

Tonight my wife is working late, dinner shall be a solitary affair, what mysteries doth the kitchen contain? What awe inspiring dinner shall we make to slack our hunger?

The quest has rewarded us with these items. A paltry return for our scavenging efforts, but none the less we shall carry on to the weary end, irregardless of the hurdles in our path.

What mysterious meal could we make from these seemingly unrelated items? Follow along and see, my intrepid friend.

First we have the dread chicken wiener, a robust and hearty cousin to the meat byproduct wiener. The chicken wiener being of such starch character is unbending in its form, no amount of boiling or microwaving will expand its tightly packed skin. It is the immutable item in our potion.

  

After subduing the phallic poultry with a knife We proceed to boil the oddly shaped contents of the box, remembering to remove the large ramen powder like foil pack first. Pouring these miniature plumbing like noodles into the water in hopes they will lose their brittle hard existence as the wieners did not. Some salt and oil to make their bath more soothing. Once more we toss the sliced fowl into the mix, where it dances around like an excited school of minnows in a sheltered cove.

After a few minutes of admiring the dance we strain the water and sooth the overheated concoction with a milk and butter rub, then add that third item from our bounty to enrich our forthcoming meal.

I would have tossed in a sprinkle of cheese but alas none was to be found, so the suspicious powder in the giant ramen bag sits alone in its granular glory. More salt, and a twist of that magical wand Pepper mill, and like Macbeth’s witches we stir the cauldron seeking our future in its depths. Casting the contents on a plate like rune sticks in an augury the future looks bleak indeed, but fear not we have another die to cast.

That King of condiments, that bottle of liquefied nightshade, Catsup!

Adding colour and flavour to our final creation it is ready for the table, best served with a full bodied cola to cut the richness of way to much mayo. We sit down to enjoy our rewards and efforts in well earned satisfaction.