Once again we venture into the kitchen in search of prey. As sparse as the Serengeti plains are my cupboards, but like a true omnivorous predator I can find game almost anywhere. A box of pancake mix, and some remnants of Raspberry jam are gathered by the water. Leaping forward I grasp the Pancake mix in my claws and rend open the box in savagery, pouring it into my (In honour of the day) ‘Super Bowl’ There is an ominous stain of red that seeps across the water as the Raspberry jam seeps into the blender followed by a thickening sud (see what I did there?) as the pancake mix falls into the water, With I mighty roar I start the blender sending the feral cat running in fear. Having established dominance over the kill I heat the pan and with repeated hisses I dribble it onto the hot plate in vaguely circular portions.
Like all great predators I have been blessed with specialized tools to aid me in my survival in this harsh environment and instinctively grasp the spatula to flip my prey over to get at it’s soft golden underside. Having examined my prey for unwanted gooey bits, I transport it over to my den to be consumed.
Little coins of jam infused flour now drenched in Syrup. Not maple syrup, since I am not a Doctor or lawyer or CEO who can afford such luxury. Not Corn Syrup, for I am not an American attempting to imitate Maple Syrup with this oddly sourced confection. Alas for me it is store bought Syrup, not even labeled as Maple flavour in it’s surprisingly honest marketing. Never the less the tablespoon of raspberry has enhanced the dullness of the flour and water mix and has turned the Flapjoke to Flapjack, the Pancake to Pan Bake, the Batter Cake, to Hotcake.
Sated at last the mighty predator laps at it’s coffee and stares out upon it’s domain while the various food groups cower in their cupboardly caves and cold refrigerators, knowing that soon enough, the predator will feel the twinges of hunger in it’s belly, and the hunt will begin again.