Breakfast of Champions

Don’t say you’ve never done it. Been in a rush to get to work because you woke up late, or the kids required extra attention. Perhaps the clothes you set out last night, you realize in the morning light, would place you in the running for a Don Cherry look alike contest.

Whatever the reason, at some time breakfast, the most important meal of the day, was reduced to a smash and grab robbery of whatever was on the counter closest to hand. I am well acquainted with this condition as a serial procrastinator, and even adjust my shopping at times, to accommodate this tradition of western go go culture, with prepackaged oatmeal or granola bars.

Many a time has my breakfast consisted of instant coffee and prepackaged dried leaves. That which I call breakfast of champions has been a traditional breakfast for generations. In the 50s and 60s referred to as the Whore’s breakfast for reasons I do not care to examine. 

Never the less, while my lunch cooks on the stove in the 25 minutes I have between bed and bus, my coffee and cigarettes will have to do. The coffee contains that oh so important caffeine to jump start the heart from slumber to productive gear. The cigarette’s full bodied smoky fumes permeates my lungs in a chemical concert of death metal, forcing my immune system, and various organs to fight for their very lives against this nefarious invader. Rising to the challenge with berserker fury my very body shakes with the battle as a coughing fit quakes the battlefield.

Fully awake, both inside and out, I am now ready to face the day, and as soon as I find my pants, will re-enter the fray as a productive drone of the economic workforce.

For the rabid anti smokers in the audience, replace cigarette with slice of toast, which I found I had time to enjoy on the walk to the bus stop.

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